Remember the movie "Soapdish," with Sally Field as the aging soap opera queen who has to commit to a storyline where her ex (played by Kevin Kline) is resurrected -- after being decapitated? It reminds me of the Republican senators who ALLEGEDLY collaborated with Trump to overturn Biden's election and now (stop me if you've heard this one) EXPECT TO GET PAID FOR BEING INVESTIGATED! Because now they have to pretend they were unjustly suspected. Ha ha, what a knee slapper! Via Politico:

Senate Republicans secured a provision in the bipartisan, shutdown-ending government funding package that could award senators hundreds of thousands of dollars (Editor's note: $500K) for having their phone records collected without their knowledge as part of a Biden-era investigation.

That legislative language came directly from Senate Majority Leader John Thune.

In an interview Monday evening, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) — who claims he was one of the lawmakers to have his data subpoenaed as part of former special counsel Jack Smith’s investigation into President Donald Trump’s efforts to subvert the 2020 election — said Thune was responsible for the inclusion of provision.

“Leader Thune inserted that in the bill to provide real teeth to the prohibition on the Department of Justice targeting senators,” Cruz said.

You self-righteous twat. Dear sweet baby Jeebus, you can't make this shit up.

The provision states that electronic services providers must notify a Senate office if the provider receives a request to disclose the data from that senator, or senator’s office. Moreover, the legislative language stipulates that the provider cannot be barred from notifying the senate office under a court order, though that notification may be delayed in the event the senator in question is under criminal investigation.

I can't wait until the next round of Nuremberg trials!