Late night host Jimmy Kimmel explained perfectly what the age of the man-baby sitting in the White House is while roasting his 80th birthday plans.
KIMMEL: Politico asked him to grade the economy. He said he gives it an A plus plus plus plus. Five pluses. And if it wasn't five pluses, would he be planning a UFC fight on the White House lawn? No. Yes? Oh, yes.
We got some new details on that today. The president is planning to build a 5,000 seat arena in front of the White House. They scaled it down from 20,000 to 5,000, which is fine, because Trump will say it was 100,000 anyway. But I guess it was too big.
The event will take place on June 14th, which just happens to be his 80th birthday. Whose 80th birthday theme is inviting men to beat the crap out of each other on his lawn? The most miserable son of a bitch in the world. That's who.
The weigh-ins for this event will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. That is not a joke. The same people who are all, don't you dare desecrate the flag, totally fine with guys in their underpants at the foot of Abraham Lincoln.
But it's his birthday. You know, we have to have a party for his birthday. What a child he is. Everyone around him treats him like he's three years old. He is three years old.
He needs a lot of attention, so they let him have a press conference every day. He needs immediate gratification. They give him a diet Coke button.
He gets constant praise for nothing. "Oh, you did so good. You're so -- Look how big you are. Your MRI is perfect." He gets... he takes nap time, often in the middle of a meeting. They order him McDonald's. He gets ice cream after dinner every night. He loves to use a Sharpie when he's not supposed to. He wants to hear the same two songs over and over and over again. And he wears diapers. He's three years old!!
If we could just get start watching Cocomelon instead of Newsmax, problem solved.
If only it were that simple.
