One imagines a group of federal agents, accustomed to masked raids, warrantless entries, and bureaucratic indifference to human suffering, pausing mid-operation to say, “Hold on, fellow proud boys, uh DHS squads… the appropriations language demands better vibes.”
February 13, 2026

One of the enduring superstitions in U.S. politics is the belief a bad institution can be made virtuous by scolding it sternly, announcing symbolic restrictions, and then increasing its allowance. The view, touching in its innocence, is on display as Democratic congressional leaders try to reform DHS and ICE. The theory: They're lawless, brutal, contemptuous of the constitution—but if Congress insists loudly on “new guardrails” they'll develop consciences.

One imagines a group of federal agents, accustomed to masked raids, warrantless entries, and bureaucratic indifference to human suffering, pausing mid-operation to say, “Hold on, fellow proud boys, uh DHS squads… the appropriations language demands better vibes.”

DHS was designed, in a panic, after the 9-11 terror attacks. An agency birthed by fear, imbued with haste, and pumped full of enthusiasm for authority. Under Trump the DHS authoritarianism has simply been encouraged to stretch its legs. ICE in particular is less law-enforcement, more uniformed fascist thugs. Accountable primarily to themselves, Stephen Miller, and a right-wing fantasy world that treats cruelty as proof of seriousness.

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