I'll take things that are never going to happen for $500 Alex.
AEI fellow and Fox regular Marc Thiessen made an appearance on Bret Baier's show this Friday and was asked about what will happen with the Strait of Hormuz, and after claiming that Admiral Cooper has some secret plan that he hasn't executed yet that could immediately get the strait open, Thiessen tossed out this doozy as a suggestion for Trump:
BAIER: The Strait of Hormuz traffic, the latest Marc, is increasing but it's still being threatened in that transit. And the question is, will that change dramatically in coming days? And how does it change the economic picture for the U.S. and the world?
THIESSEN: 100 percent. I think, first of all, the president tweeted out today that he's going to open the Strait of Hormuz. So that's a good thing. Admiral Cooper has a plan that he could execute tomorrow if he's given the order to do it that would open up the Strait of Hormuz. There's no way that the Iranians can keep the strait closed if we decide to open it.
I think, quite frankly, what President Trump ought to do, is he ought to have... announce that he's going to have a Hormuz transit tariff, and that instead of Iran charging two million of a vessel going through the Strait of Hormuz, the United States is going to charge a two million dollar escort fee for every vessel going through the Strait of Hormuz, which is about nine billion a month, a hundred billion a year in revenue coming in and we will waive that fee for any country that participates in the coalition to open up this trade of Hormuz.
That will open it up... open it, and reward the good guys who are helping us, and punish those who decide to stay on the sidelines.
And instead of asking Thiessen how this didn't just give the Iranians more targets to shoot at or what the plan was that would open the strait and why it hadn't already been executed, or why anyone should believe a single thing Trump says, Baier just moved on to the jobs report like the good stenographer that he is.
Malcolm Nance was not impressed with Theissen either:
This is the stupidest time line. We are going to charge $2 million to GUARANTEE they will be attacked. No one will insure this or risk their vessels.
I say this officially, @marcthiessen is a Dumb Ass.. https://t.co/g0fyRD4tY0— Malcolm Nance (@MalcolmNance) April 4, 2026


