Jeff Bezos, one of the world's richest men and noted owner of the newspaper that once fancied itself a check on power, has some important thoughts he'd like to share: Donald Trump is actually doing great and really maturing. Lots of good ideas. You have to give him credit. Bezos would like you to know that he's thought through this very carefully, and it has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Pinky swear!
Bezos appeared on CNBC’s 'Squawk Box' where he performed public fellatio on Donald Trump's lil' mushroom. The billionaire class has no idea of what most of us are going through with Trump at the helm, or they do, and they just don't give a fuck. As for the public fellatio, that's an odd thing for a newly married man to do for the president, so don't tell his wife, though she's probably getting more work done on whatever is left of her face.
"When I last interviewed you, it was about two years ago, President Trump had just won, he was not the president yet, and I had asked you what you thought of him at the time," co-anchor Andrew Ross Sorkin said. "And you said that you thought that he had mellowed, that he was calmer. And I'm curious now, here we are, two years later, we've had lots of wars and tariffs and all sorts of things that have happened since then. What do you think?"
"I think he has, I'm comparing him to his first term, and I think he is a more mature, more disciplined version of himself than he was in his first term," Bezos somehow said. "So, again, I've worked with all the presidents, I will work with all the presidents, and I hope to do that going forward if they'll have me."
"But we need our business leaders to provide input into the administration, regardless of who the president is," he continued. "I'm on the side of America, and that is so important, and that's where business leaders should be."
"I was helping Obama every chance I could, I was helping Biden every chance I could," he added. "I still call Obama for advice; he's a very smart guy. And by the way, Trump has lots of good ideas, and he's been right about a lot of things; you have to give him credit where credit is due."
Wait, there's more. Let's test taxing the rich since Bezos brought it up.
He also praised the Melania movie, calling it "a good business decision," adding, "even though I had nothing to do with it."
Sure thing, Jeff. After listening to that insufferable man, I feel proud to live in my humble old house and enjoy the simple things in life - the things people like Bezos couldn't possibly comprehend. And we can all enjoy our lives without licking Donald Trump's boots. And while we watch Trump destroy the country, and possibly hit the nuke button, our last words will be, 'We warned you!" But we didn't lick his cankle-filled boots, so there's that.
