FBI Director Kash Patel apparently threw a fit after misplacing one of his custom bourbon bottles. According to The Atlantic's Sarah Fitzpatrick, Patel routinely brings along specially branded bottles of Woodford Reserve whiskey on his travels. The bottles are personalized with his title, the FBI seal, and his stylized nickname "Ka$h," and some also bear his autograph and the number nine — seemingly a nod to his position in the succession of FBI directors.
Jinkies, you guys, there sure seems to be an alcohol problem with those in Trump's orbit. What woulda' thunk it?
Anyway, moving on, Patel and his entourage reportedly brought at least a case of his custom bourbon to the FBI's Quantico training facility in Virginia back in March, for a seminar led by UFC fighters. When one of the bottles turned up missing, Patel allegedly flew into a rage. This is according to people who spoke with The Atlantic through Kurt Siuzdak, a retired FBI agent who helps current agents navigate legal matters.
After Patel threatened to administer lie detector tests and potentially prosecute staff over the missing bottle, several agents reached out to Siuzdak for legal advice. Siuzdak described the whole situation as having spiraled out of control. The magazine also heard from other attorneys who had fielded similar calls from FBI employees troubled by the bourbon bottle saga.
Siuzdak acknowledged that agents are obligated to report misconduct, but said it had become painfully clear that anyone who raised concerns about Patel would find themselves in a very difficult position.
Things escalated quickly after our guy Kash threatened to administer lie detector tests and pursue criminal charges against staff over the missing bottle, prompting multiple agents to reach out to Siuzdak for legal advice. "It turned into a shitshow," Siuzdak reportedly said. Other lawyers also told the magazine they had received similar calls from worried FBI employees. Siuzdak noted that while agents are obligated to report misconduct, it had become obvious that anyone who came forward with accusations against Patel would likely face serious consequences.
Gee, will Kash crack the case? It gets weirder because the bug-eyed FBI director opened an investigation into whoever leaked the initial story to The Atlantic. Fitzgerald doesn't seem concerned, so she published the following story with receipts.
Via Sarah Fitzpatrick:
After my story appeared, I heard from people in Patel’s orbit and people he has met at public functions, who told me that it is not unusual for him to travel with a supply of personalized branded bourbon. The bottles bear the imprint of the Kentucky distillery Woodford Reserve, and are engraved with the words “Kash Patel FBI Director,” as well as a rendering of an FBI shield. Surrounding the shield is a band of text featuring Patel’s director title and his favored spelling of his first name: Ka$h. An eagle holds the shield in its talons, along with the number 9, presumably a reference to Patel’s place in the history of FBI directors. In some cases, the 750-milliliter bottles bear Patel’s signature, with “#9” there as well. One such bottle popped up on an online auction site shortly after my story appeared, and The Atlantic later purchased it. (The person who sold it to us did not want to be named, but said that the bottle was a gift from Patel at an event in Las Vegas.)
Fitzpatrick isn't holding back. So, since Patel insisted that her first report was false, she came back with a fuckton of sources. Bravo, well done!
