Donald Trump became so furious that the Senate’s nonpartisan parliamentarian dared to follow the rules and blocked his taxpayer-funded $220 million ballroom disguised as “Secret Service security” in a $1 billion (!!!) package from sneaking through the easy reconciliation backdoor, that he reportedly called John Thune, demanding she be fired, NOTUS reports.

To Thune’s credit, he basically said, “lol, no,” and took a minute to remind everyone that this is the same parliamentarian both parties love to hate when she does her actual job. Imagine that. Now Republicans are busy frantically rewriting the language. Classic: When the rules get in the way of the Big Beautiful Ballroom, the rules must go asap. Priorities!

Republicans are crafting updated legislation to provide additional Secret Service funding, though it remains uncertain whether direct financial support for the security of Trump's East Wing development — including the ballroom — will be permitted. Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Chuck Grassley told Semafor he wasn't sure such targeted funding would hold up, while affirming that the Secret Service is clearly in need of improvement.

Thune refused to say whether the president had requested that he remove MacDonough, citing his practice of keeping their private discussions confidential. He also made clear that he had no intention of doing so.

“No,” Thune told NOTUS when asked if he was contemplating the idea of firing MacDonough. “We’re going through a process that we go through every time we have a reconciliation bill and the people on both sides are mad at the parliamentarian. That’s been true.”

Where will President Twinkle Toes do his fist-y dance if he doesn't have a $1 billion fancy pants ballroom? Such a conundrum!