Donald J. Trump, who also thinks he's Jesus Christ, weighed in on the speed of drug trials and the "ultimate test" of experimental treatments, explaining that when an individual was "given the last rites," and was "gone," he came back to life after the deceased person took the miracle drug.
Dr. Stable Genius™ is out here curing death itself. What a guy. Forget healthcare — we’re one press conference away from him raising Lazarus to own the libs.
"By the way, we think we've cut it in half, but you do need a period of time," he said. "Without waiting many, many years, we know the drug works because we've taken people that were dead.".
"We had a person given the last rites, gone," he continued. "The kids are crying and sold them on this drug, and the person became better. It works, you know, and some don't work."
"But you learn really fast," he said. "It's called the ultimate test, I think, right? You know, they test all these things."
"They use animals all over the place," he added. "They use everything to test. A person's going to die."
No worries, Dr. POTUS, if they die, you can bring them back to life. Problem solved. And finally, Donald found a drug stronger than copium. Big Pharma is going to be so jealous of Trump's miracle drug.
The kids were crying, last rites were given, and then boom — Trump’s mystery drug turned a corpse into a success story. This isn’t medicine, it’s fan fiction.
