Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth took a minute from doing his prancing Pete tippy toe dance, to strut onto CBS's Face the Nation Sunday to deliver what he clearly believed was a devastating flex — the U.S. has totally, completely, absolutely controlled the Strait of Hormuz this entire time, zero Iranian ships, boom, mic drop.

Host Margaret Brennan then gently inquired why, if all that's true, we're negotiating with Iran to reopen it. Hegseth did not have a great answer for that. If you're an oldster like me, you remember the lies that got us into previous wars, but this administration is really bad at it.

"By the way, I think your viewers need to remember, Project Freedom never stopped, and we've run 125 million barrels of oil through the straits, and Iran couldn't do anything about it," Hegseth said. "How many ships from Iran have transited our blockade?"

"Zero," he continued. "Zero."

Here it comes.

"We have controlled the straits this entire time," he insisted.

"You're going to negotiate with them to reopen it," Brennan corrected him.

Jinkies, I don't know, guys, but it seems to me that if you need negotiations to reopen any fucking thing, then you probably weren’t controlling it. Still, Hegseth is saying "Mission Accomplished" while they're still negotiating.