Fox News's Sean Hannity's bizarre eulogy-turned-Trump-tribute for Lindsey Graham is something to behold, as he licked the President's boots while describing heaven for the late South Carolina Senator.
Hannity, mid-eulogy, mused that Graham's heaven is probably a bigger, gaudier Mar-a-Lago with an extra ballroom and gold trim — because Graham would obviously want to "duplicate" Trump even in the afterlife.
"Lindsey, Mr. President, I would argue, in my mind, probably has a heavenly version of Mar-a-Lago," Hannity said. "It may even be a little bigger."
"He may have a little more gold in the Oval Office in his mansion in heaven," he continued.
"And I wouldn't be surprised if he added one big beautiful ballroom and an arch somewhere on the property, because he would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life, you, Mr. President," he added.
Somewhere, a theology professor is weeping. The Bible describes heaven as a place where the first shall be last, where the meek inherit the earth, and where treasure stored up in gold and marble is famously not the point — Jesus was pretty explicit about camels and needles on that one.
But the Fox News guy, apparently working off his own apocrypha, has revealed that Lindsey Graham's afterlife is actually just Mar-a-Lago with better lighting: more gold leaf, a bonus ballroom, maybe a triumphal arch, all lovingly modeled after his best friend's earthly resort.
It's an interesting theological innovation — heaven not as the reward for humility, but as a slightly-upgraded timeshare in Trump's likeness. Somewhere in Revelation it says the streets are paved with gold; nowhere does it mention a comment card asking how you'd like your mansion gilded.
We're only surprised that in Hannity's vision of heaven, he didn't imagine angels doing Trump's little fist-y dance to YMCA.
